bout de papier, Vol. 13, No. 3 (1996) — Fall 1996 // Automne 1996, p. 42
In the never-ending quest for the perfect Foreign Service Officer, Personnel has — it is thought — been working on a new, re-vamped Foreign Service entry examination. bout de papier’s mole in the “S” Branch (rumoured now to be our Ambassador in Stockholm) leaked to us the following first draft of the 1996 FS Entry Examination.
Foreign Service Officer Exam (Revised)
INSTRUCTIONS
Swallow question paper before reading or suffer security infraction. Answer all questions. Time limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately. Deliver to RCMP or fail security clearance.
A) Formal Education
1. History Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.
2. Political Science There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
3. Economics Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Critique this method from all possible angles. Point out the deficiencies in your thesis as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.
4. Culture Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
5. Communications Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.
6. Philosophy Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
7. General Knowledge Discuss. Be objective and specific.
B) Abilities
1. Resourcefulness You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Canadian Club. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.
2. Innovativeness Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
3. Initiative The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a crazed Sikh militant will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.
4. Creativity Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special reference to its probable effect on the Canadian parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.
5. Interpersonal Relations 2500 rioting invisible minorities are storming your Embassy. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin and Greek.
6. Analytical Skills Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander the Great, Ramses II, Attila the Hun, and Lucretia Borgia. Support your evaluation with quotations from each person’s work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.
7. Potential for Advancement You’ve prepared a report for your superior. The success of your presentation means promotion or a posting to Burkino Faso. In the middle of your proposal your superior leans over and spits into your coffee. You…
a) Explain that you prefer your coffee black b) Ask him if he has any communicable diseases c) Pee in his outbasket.
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Originally published in bout de papier, Vol. 13, No. 3 (1996) — Fall 1996 // Automne 1996, p. 42. Read the rest of this issue →
