bout de papier, Vol. 5, No. 3 (1987) — Fall 1987 // Automne 1987, pp. 13–16
In recent years Washington has become the scene of considerable diplomatic intramural sport; around thirty embassies and international organizations headquartered there compete regularly at soccer, and a smaller number joust in that most American of games — baseball. I wonder how many of these athletes realize that the grand-daddy of such diplomatic athletic skirmishes dates back to 1943 and that, in the midst of World War II, the Canadian Legation was the initiator.
By a sort of verbal osmosis, some of us who used to toil in External Affairs’ early headquarters in the East Block used to hear a fleeting word about a legendary baseball game supposed to have been played in the war years between the Canadian Legation in Washington and the U.S. State Department. According to the legend, if a Canadian made it to first base, an American Third Secretary would be standing in the first base coaching box to hand him a martini from a loaded tray. If an American made it to first base, a Canadian Legation slavey would be in the coaching box to offer him a maple leaf cocktail.
And for those on either team who managed to make it all the way to third base, this offer of refreshments would be repeated — presumably to re-charge the diplomatic batteries for the hoped-for assault on home plate.
This legend gained credence around Ottawa because, for one thing, the second-in-command of our Legation in Washington during those wartime years was a notoriously avid baseball fan, with an irrepressible sense of humour — none other than Lester B. “Mike” Pearson. For another thing, in those days, when our bilateral problems with the United States were less complex and vexing and when, after Pearl Harbor, we were marching arm-in-arm as Allies in a struggle to the finish against Hitler’s Axis, there was a happy back-yard informality, an easy intimacy, a genuine warmth and friendliness between the two North American diplomatic communities that just might have made such a far-fetched baseball game possible.
While I heard rumours about this “sporting” event long ago, it took me fully forty years to catch up with the res gestae of this path-breaking episode in Canada-United States relations. I owe the discovery to an old friend and fine colleague, Dr. Don Page, the Department’s senior historian, who directed me to External Affairs file 5526-40. In it I found some extraordinary bouts de papier which — you will soon see why — he could not use when dratting the Department’s yet-to-be-published history. Since my scribblings deal with matters somewhat less formal, I have no inhibitions in now bringing these remarkable documents to the attention of readers of bout de papier.
But first of all, a word about their dramatis personae. Mike Pearson needs no introduction, nor should Hugh Keenleyside, whose fiefdom at that time was the entire Western Hemisphere, as Head of Political III. Jack Hickerson was a distinguished officer in the State Department then dealing with Canadian affairs, and he had previously served in the American Embassy in Ottawa; in both places he had gained esteem and had a close friendship with our people. The “Hull Hillbillies” were not denizens of our neighbouring city of Hull, but were officers in the State Department then headed by Cordell Hull, the United States wartime Secretary of State.
Now to the game. The Canadians, as visitors, are batting first, and have sent their lead-off man to the plate. The Americans have taken up their positions in the field. I will now let these documents — surely unique in the annals of Western diplomacy — speak for themselves.
SECRET, CONFIDENTIAL, AND ALMOST IMPORTANT. TO BE DESTROYED BEFORE READING The Hon. Theodore Achilles Department of State Washington, D.C. April 20, 1943 Sir:
I have been requested by Their Excellencies, the various Canadian officials now serving in this penal settlement of Washington, to throw at the State Department a challenge to a test of strength or skill on what is, I believe, known as a baseball diamond. This game of baseball is understood to be the national sport of both the United States and Japan, and, though unknown in Canada, it is consistent with the well-known chivalry and generosity of the challengers to offer to participate in this game in preference to one of the more familiar Canadian games, such as snowshoe running, ludo, bull-baiting, and “I spy Dominion status”
Details as to the time, place, and circumstances of the proposed encounter can be left, it is hoped, to the State Department. We would, however, like to submit certain conditions for your consideration, and, if possible, acceptance:
1. It is felt that complete secrecy should be observed about the whole matter: therefore the publicity and press facilities to be given this contest should be those laid down by the United States Government for the forthcoming United Nations Food Conference.
2. Mr. John Hickerson should be a member of the State Department team. In view of the fact that we are playing baseball at all and not one of the Canadian sports mentioned above, and also in view of the fact that we propose to use Mr. Merchant Mahoney as a base runner, we feel obliged to ask for this concession.
3. The umpires should be the Director General,, Office of Civilian Defence, and the Controller of Bits and Pieces of the War Production Board.
4. All wagers on this game are to be in terms of “Unitas” and not of”Bancor”
5. The challenging team shall have the right to call off the game at the end of the first innings if sufficient replacements for the exhausted and the maimed are not available.
6. In all correspondence, the Canadian team shall be referred to as “Les Panzers Canadiens”
7. The locale of the game shall be considered as a combat area, and all those participating shall be eligible for combat medals and the Order of the Purple Heart. The Canadian Legation awaits in hope and confidence your favourable consideration of this challenge, which, I may add, is sent without the knowledge or approval of either Dr. Goebbels or the Canadian-American Permanent Board on Defence.
I have the honour to be, Sir, With highest respect, Your most humble, obedient servant, L.B. Pearson
The Dishon. L.B. Pearson First Base (Very) Canadian Legation Washington, D.C.
Sir:
I am directed to acknowledge your discourteous note of today’s date and to assure you that it will receive the consideration which it merits. You will be advised in due course of the views of the competent authorities.
Accept, you so and so, the renewed assurances of my moderate consideration.
Very truly yours, Theodore C. Achilles Chargé d’Athlétiques Etrangers (but not of the Division of Cultural Relations, by God).
NOT CONFIDENTIAL BUT UNPRINTABLE, URGENT
AND USELESS
The Dishon. L. B. Pearson First Base (Very) Canadian Legation
Dear Lester:
Having regard for the presumptuous tone of your ignominious communication of the 29th ult., I have little honor in informing you that the State Department Team (Hull Hillbillies) accepts the challenge of his Britannic Majesty’s representatives for Canada in Washington, Georgetown and Falls Church, under the following conditions which, it is hoped, need not be formalized in an exchange of notes. (If, however, you won’t play without such an exchange, it is proposed that the necessary exchange or exchanges be exchanged at the official discount rate prescribed by the Foreign Exchange Control Board).
1. The game to be baseball – softball, in fact, in consideration of the softness of the Canadian team – and to last three innings or until your team is unable to take the field, whichever comes first. Under no circumstances, however, shall Les Panzers Canadiens use hockey sticks, or lacrosse sticks. (Crutches, however, will be permitted for purposes of locomotion only).
2. The game to be under the control, when convenient to the Hull Hillbillies, of two umpires, who will be under no obligation to extend unconditional most-favored-nation treatment. Instead of the persons so ungraciously nominated in your note under reference, it is proposed that the said umpires shall be selected from a panel to be composed of high ranking officers of Northwest Airlines and farmers from Aroostook County, Maine. Representatives of other American airlines whose operations in Canada have not yet come to the attention of the Canadian authorities may, however, qualifyif they can evade the terms of an overall master agreement between the two Governments.
3. The umpires to have sole, not concurrent, jurisdiction over all crimes including murder, manslaughter and rape. In general, the “knock for knock” policy will prevail although due regard may be had for the principle of “hot pursuit”. “Wildcatting” however, is not to be permitted save in an area to be bounded by the 49th parallel, Hudson’s Bay, the Alaskan boundary, the Arctic and Pacific Oceans and by line A-B (if Canada can find it).
4. The teams to be costumed and disarrayed as follows: The Hull Hillbillies – Tuxedos Les Panzers Canadiens — Prince Alberts (with or without Medicine Hat).
5. The Hull Hillbillies, out of sympathy for the Canadian manpower problem, to be composed exclusively of gentlemen from the Division of European Affairs* speaking the national language of the United States and Les Panzers Canadiens to be bilingual representatives of the Dominion, including not less than: One Protestant from Quebec One Catholic from Ontario One nephew of Sir Wilfrid Laurier One niece of Sir John A. Macdonald One exponent of Maritime Grievances One member of the Cooperative Commonwealth Confederation who shall be a Rhodes Scholar One member of the Department of External Affairs who shall not be a Rhodes Scholar One member of the Canadian Delegation concerning whom there is no dossier in the files of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police It is, of course, understood, stipulated and insisted upon that all members of the Canadian team shall be in favor of full Dominion status, although, if it is so desired, this Government will interpose no objection to the nomination as batboy (not batman) of a representative of the Colonial Office. It is agreed that complete secrecy shall be observed and to that end the counter proposal is made that full details should be placed in the hands of the Wartime Information Board of Canada. The suggestion that these representatives of the press should be entertained at the Homestead, is, however, indignantly, irrevocably and irresolutely rejected unless Mr. Grierson is prepared to accept conditions of reverse Lend Lease. Refreshments will, however, be served by the Bronfman brothers. I am further authorized to inform you that Mr. John Hickerson, the Texas Terror, shall indeed be a member of the State Department team and that, out of special consideration for Les Panzers Canadiens, he has consented to participate without his distinguished colleagues on the Permanent Joint Board of Defense. Mr. Hickerson’s wagers will be in Confederate currency, not Unitas; accordingly, Mr. Merchant Mahoney may, if he can, place bets in terms of Social Credit.
The combat area in which this stupendous struggle is to take place, as well as the date and time, shall, it is suggested, be the subject of discussions between your assistant, Mr. Magann, and my assistant, Mr. Parsons, inasmuch as they are already quite used to arguing with each other.
Accept, my dear Lester, what consideration I have left.
Very truly yours, Theodore C. Achilles Chargé d’Athlétiques Etrangers
* Canadian affairs had always been handled in the State Department by its Division of European Affairs. The Bureau of European and Canadian Affairs dates from 1981.
Unnumbered Secretary of State for External Affairs Ottawa, Canada June 25, 1943
Sir:
I have the honour to enclose herewith copies of secret and insulting correspondence between the Department of State and this Legation regarding a challenge issued by the latter for a game of baseball between “Les Panzers Canadiens of the Legation and the “Hull Hillbillies” of the State Department. It is hoped that this correspondence can be carefully considered by those in the Department who are — and have been since 1927 — working out regulations regarding the correct form and style to be used in diplomatic communications between governments. The Legation considers these exchanges to be models of their kind and have been informed that the feeling in the State Department supports this view.
The game in question, after many delays due to heat, work, and the general disinclination to indulge in any form of unnecessary activity, was finally played Wednesday evening of this week on the campus of Georgetown University, before a large, enthusiastic, partisan, and perspiring audience.
The Canadian team, all of whom are hereby mentioned in despatches and who, it is hoped, will receive suitable recognition in the forthcoming Honours List, which, it is understood, will be issued on the 12th of July, consisted of pracucally every member of the Legation Staff, together with three members of other Canadian Government offices in Washington, who, in recognition of their long and effective service in those offices, were made honourary Attachés of the Legation for the day.
The State Department team, violently lea by Mr. John Hickerson and under the field captaincy of that redoubtable athlete, Mr. James Bonbright, suttered a catastrophic Pearl Harbor in the first innings, when Les Panzers scored ten runs before they declared the innings closed. However, the Americans, undaunted, rushed in reinforcements, and, with the able assistance of the sportsmanlike Canadian team, who withdrew their best pitcher and substituted for him the aged and inefficient Mr. Pearson, were able to creep up until they were within striking distance of Les Panzers.
It would, of course, have been inappropriate it the Legation had won; it would have been humiliating if it had lost. With the score 17-13 in favour of the Legation and two out in the 9th, it appeared that our desire to ensure permanently friendly relations with the State Department might not be achieved. However, four errors in quick succession, and a tremendous, but accidental three-base hit by Mr. Hickerson permitted four runs to be scored. The game thereby ended happily for all concerned, who immediately adjourned to the residence of Mr. Theodore Achilles, where hospitality was accepted and aching muscles assuaged. The final score 17-17 will, it is hoped, be interpreted as the most striking evidence yet submitted of the diplomatic skill of the officers of the Legation.
Yesterday, the State Department was temporarily converted into an emergency hospital, but the Legation functioned in its usual smooth and efficient manner.
I have the honour to be, Sir, Your obedient servant, L. B. Pearson.
No. Blank The Canadian Minister to the United States Canadian Legation Washington, D.C. July 17. 1943 Sir:
I regret that it is my duty to acknowledge your unnumbered despatch of June 25, 1943, and attachments, in which you reported certain of the more printable details of a recent encounter between representatives of the Legation and the United States Department of State in a game described, with your habitual inaccuracy, as “baseball”.. Fortunately, and as usual, we have been able to supplement and correct the material supplied in your despatch under reference by information received through more responsible channels. Eminent among these have been Mr. Drew Pearson, Colonel Robert MacCormick, Informed Circles in Washington and Mr. Lewis Clark. (In the latter case an acknowledgement giving the views of the Ganadian Government was demanded by 3 p.m. E.W.T. on the day of receipt.)
It would be a difficult and, of course, a useless task to cover in one despatch all the points at which the Legation was in error in the correspondence under reference.
Why, for example, was no protest made in relation to the name selected by the representatives of the State Department? The fact that Mr. John Hickerson, Mr. Graham Parsons and other Hillbillies were customarily to be found within the environs of the municipality located north of the Ottawa River during the time they were laughingly referred to as being en poste in the Canadian Capital should not have been accepted as justification for the adoption of the name of a Canadian city to describe a group of Giraudists and Ottonians.
Your despatch, moreover, gave no indication of the means employed to remove the Americans from bases once occupation had been achieved. Surely a significant accomplishment of this kind was worthy of detailed report. It is the omission of vital information of this kind that has created the impression in the American Division of the Department that reports from Washington are edited to avoid all the news that’s fit to print.
Certain textual aberrations should also be brought to your attention. In the second paragraph of your despatch you referred to the “general disinclination” of members of the Legation staff “to indulge in any form of unnecessary activity”. “Unnecessary” is surely unnecessary.
In the fourth paragraph you refer to the “first innings”. Surely even a team of Rhodes Scholars, led by a pensioned player of lacrosse, should know that ’innings” is cricket but baseball is “inning”. In baseball the singular is always used, and never, I should juage, with more justification than in the present instance.
I observe that you omit all reference to the aluminum bat with which I understand the Legation team was supplied by grateful representatives of a distinguished Canadian political party. Nor do I find any comment on the Land-Luce movement which certain members of the State Department team are reported to have initiated with a view to distracting the attention of the Canadian players. A message on this subject was received by our Code Room – en clair.
In the final paragraph you wrote “Yesterday the State Department was temporarily converted into an emergency hospital, but the Legation functioned in its usual smooth and efficient manner’ May I suggest that the truth would have been macerated sufficiently to meet your usual standards if the last phrase of this sentence were altered to read “and the Legation functioned period”
Your explanation of the failure of the Canadian team to win the game is neither plausible nor convincing and varies in many particulars from the accounts given by Mr. Hickerson to the members of the Permanent Joint Board on Defence, the Soviet airman at Fairbanks, the United States contractors on the Alaska Highway, the Sourdoughs of Skagway and Whitehorse, and certain Army nurses encountered at various points on his recent tour of Western America. These accounts, however, varying as they did with the alleged position of the sun in relation to the yardarm, were often as incredible as your own. Perhaps under the circumstances it would be as well to allow the matter to rest. This objective can, of course, be most effectively achieved by referring it to the Department of State with a request for an early and intelligible expression of views. Such reference is hereby authorized.
I have the honour to be, Sir, Your obedient servant, H.L. Keenleyside
P.S. It is with some regret that I feel compelled to point out that attendance at the alleged baseball game — or some other cause — has made it impossible for the officers of the Legation to report to this Department on the extinction of five and the creation of seventeen new Boards or “than mine nanning of Maranamant which took place in Washington during the hours in which the said game was in progress. You will undoubtedly wish to take this fact into account when considering further activities of a sportive nature.
When the Montreal Expos of the National League and the Toronto Blue Jays from the American League meet each year to play in the Pearson Cup exhibition game, it is unlikely that many of the spectators – or the players for that matter — will know for whom the trophy is named. And probably none of them will know of the earlier Canada-United States baseball game that Mr. Pearson originated and that is depicted in the documents reproduced here. That he never lost his sense of humour and his uncanny faculty for producing the appropriate mot off the top of his head was illustrated two decades later when, as Leader of the Opposition, he made an autumn visit to his Northern Ontario constituency of Algoma East. After fielding some political questions from a group of reporters, one of them asked whether he would venture a prediction on the outcome of the World Series games that were soon to be played between the New York Yankees and the Cincinnati Reds. When he unhesitatingly picked New York to win, he was asked why, and replied: “Can you imagine the headlines in all the newspapers if I predicted it the other way? PEARSON PICKS REDS OVER YANKEES.”
P.S. The story of these documents, which I originally wrote for the Toronto Globe and Mail in slightly abridged form, was published, with exquisite timing by the Globe, on its Op-Ed page on the morning of October 15, 1984, ie. when the newly-appointed Secretary of State for External Affairs, Joe Clark, was to meet for the first time with his American opposite number, Secretary of State George Shultz, in Toronto. Our Minister’s staff included a clipping of the Globe’s story in the briefing papers prepared for Mr. Clark, and learned that Mr. Shultz’ aides had done the same for him; both Ministers were thereby given this glimpse into just how special the relations between the two countries were in years gone by. The Globe’s headline over the story was: A FAR CRY FROM THE WORLD SERIES. The 1984 World Series baseball contest began that evening!
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Originally published in bout de papier, Vol. 5, No. 3 (1987) — Fall 1987 // Automne 1987, pp. 13–16. Read the rest of this issue →
