bout de papier, Vol. 4, No. 3 (1986) — Fall 1986 // Automne 1986, p. 42
“We’ll Give You Two Tariff Reductio
A Puzzle of Trade-Offs by A Aalto
bout de papier had originally intended to provide a lengthy inside story on the Canada-U.S. trade negotiations in this issue, but found that the keyholes were too well blocked. As an alternative, the office sent its top reporter, Dumb Arton- Oakes, to spy out a parallel set of talks being held in neutral territory between the rival states of Laurentia and Libertatia. Arton-Oakes returned last week, late as usual — but alas, a rare case of Patagonian parrot fever had addled his brains. Putting the erstwhile ace on a strict diet of Polliwanna crackers, bout de papier set out to decipher the report.
We quickly determined that the negotiations were being held over a long table, one team of five members on each side with the chief negotiator in the middle. Each team member had a different name, and each came from a different national department. Each negotiator had a particular pet peeve and a particular pet project among the issues on the agenda. Beyond this general information, however, Arton-Oakes’ notes became tangled:
Beaumiel of the Laurentian Finance Department opposes any discussion of exchange rate stabilization.
The Libertatian chief negotiator, O’Toole, favours mutual tariff reduction.
The negotiator from the Industry Department sits two seats to the east of his colleague who favours mutual tariff reduction and three seats removed from the one who is anxious to promote liberalization in services. The two Agriculture representatives sit opposite one another; one favours a plan to reduce farm export subsidies, while the other opposes any discussion of such a program.
Spring/Summer Puzzle Solution
ILL-MET BY MOONLIGHT — Winner: Dar
The 20 names in the clues are:
(a) Bram STOKER and Teddy ROOSEVELT (b) Gustav KLIMT and Sigmund FREUD (c) Mohandes GANDHI and General Jan
SMUTS (d) Igor STRAVINSKY, James JOYCE,
Marcel PROUST and Pablo PICASSO (e) Winston CHURCHILL and Charles
CHAPLIN
The nine remaining letters spell out (Robert Louis) STI published in 1886 was — Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
DeRetz of the Laurentian Trade Department opposes the consideration of cultural industries in the talks, as does the negotiator on his left.
Zak in chair 5 opposes the concept of reopening the Auto Pact, as proposed by two members of the other team, namely McTeague and the Defence representative. The negotiator in chair 9 favours the stabilization of exchange rates and opposes the liberalization of trade in services. Collins, at one end of this side, feels strongly that procurement practices should not be liberalized, while Sharp, seated across from him, favours such a proposal.
Tilly of External (who successfully insisted on an even-numbered seat) strongly favours bilateralization of contingency relief mechanisms, something opposed by at least one member of the opposing team; no-one else understands what he is talking about. Hunnicutt in chair 10 opposes the liberalization of procurement, as does exactly one of her colleagues (the man from Commerce), while the man across the table from her supports the idea.
Payson from Treasury sits on the man from State’s right. Naturally.
In despair, we called in our top relief decipherer, D.C. Leibnitz, who made short work of the zzle (and even shorter work of the crackers). in you duplicate his feat by completing the table th the missing information??
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Originally published in bout de papier, Vol. 4, No. 3 (1986) — Fall 1986 // Automne 1986, p. 42. Read the rest of this issue →
