bout de papier, Vol. 24, No. 1 (2008) — Fall/Winter 2008 // Automne/Hiver 2008, pp. 38–41
every yuk lie
December 2008 marked a modest milestone, the 25th anniversary of the first A Aalto puzzle in bout de papier. Since then, his work has appeared in every issue, totalling 86 puzzles, including this one, all by the same author.
Just a few questions…
each question, check the box [_] beside the one right answer,
fill in each space [ ] with the correct corresponding letter.
‘core: 50 points. One point per question unless otherwise indicated.
1. The first A Aalto puzzle, which
introduced Ludwig Liebnitz
a) was called “Human Kindness and the
Treasury Board”
b) was called “The Logic of CIDA”
c) let loose the wren of apathy
d) altered the orbits of three planets
€) woke up four people in the Senate
2. The following four groups are mentioned
in the puzzles but only three actually
appear. Which is the exception?
a) the Gothic Zydeco Band
b) Edible Granite
c) the Alta Vista Social Club
d) Mobius Fong’s mariachi band
3. Rialto Sleazewagon first appears
a) partnered with Papa Jack Paridy in a
Scoundrels-A-Us franchise
b) helping Slade McKeester drop a 400 megaton
cheese wheel on “Toronto the Goof” (maybe
a typo, maybe not)
c) as Assistant Managing Editor of the Centre’s
in-house publication, aide memoire
d) promoting global warming, having cornered
Canadian banana futures
t Match the slogans (A to E) with the
corresponding organizations (a to e) [5 points]
A) Fear, surprise a) Opera Dei
and a fanatical b) Big Buddha Burgers
devotion to Verdi c) The Freedixons
B) I think I lost a d) The Rock Bottom
finger in that last Remainders
secret handshake e) Free Youth
C) Learn to read or International
we’ll come back and
sing “MacArthur
Park” again
D)If we wanted your
approval, we’d
have asked for it
E) Make me one
with everything
5. In “Liebnitz and the Fairytale Ending” the
centre’s performance of Snow White
a) has to be renamed Rainbow Fleshtones and the
Seven Stature-optimised Mineral Extraction
Specialists to satisfy the Human Rights
Commission
b) features dwarfs who may have to be renamed
Catatonic, Twisted, Manic, Mangy, Risqué and
Blotto to satisfy truth-in-advertising rules
c) replaces the poisoned apple with tainted
vindaloo from the takeout, Cash and Curry
d) all of the above
– Which of the following activities was involved
in the search for the Mapleheart?
a) the proposed invasion of Tibet,
Operation Hello Dalai
b) Operation Eminent Poltroon, covered as a
co-production of “The Apprenticeship of
Dudley Do-right”
c) the new branding program for Latin American
relations, “CanCult: in your face like a
wet tortilla”
d) the joint terrorist/neo-con conspiracy against
the Ultimate Olympics
7. In “The United States of Mind” we are
told that Rialto Sleazewagon’s pet is
a) a 10-metre anaconda named Clarence
b) a carnivorous plant named Audrey
c) a blonde named Bambi
d) a Doberman named Stockwell
e) a town called Alice
8. Which one of these was said of Papa Jack Paridy?
a) he devalued the brand identity of evil
b) never trust a man who brings his accordion to
a staff meeting
c) most people’s PDA is a BlackBerry,
his is a Prune
d) he has more curves than Thomson Highway
9. Link the food clues (A to D) with the
corresponding linkage (a to d) [4 points]
A) Swabian sausage a) emergency stores kept
with marmalade in the Centre’s closets
and jalapefios (for when Hamish
B) oatcakes and single gets lost there)
malt scotch b) made up a display
C) 264 kinds of cheese map of France
D) a toasted iguana dedicated to
frappucino General de Gaulle
c) passed to Don Gordo
by Manitoba Jones,
swinging on a vine [
d) served up by Hamish
in Berlin (really
cleared the crowd)
10. Don Gordo first appeared
a) in a top hat, a lime green spandex jumpsuit
and rollerblades
b) in a torture chamber decorating a wedding
cake with skulls and crossbones
c) at a Canada Day reception, in full uniform
with gold braid that melted at his first shot
of screech
d) dressed as a Spanish courtier in robin’s egg
blue and salmon pink (the colours of the
1938 Ontario licence plate)
11. In “Boxed In Again” which of the
following things does not happen?
a) Liebnitz disarms an exploding egg created by
(Igor) Fabergé
b) we meet Liebnitz’s hippy brother Leo
c) Felix Africa makes a game stab at 60s cool:
“Keep the faith, baby. Sir.”
d) Mobius Fong (“the endlessly twisted’’)
disappears around the bend
12. In “Who Squelched Wackford Syzygy?”
two recurring characters dance
a) like fire and silk
b) like Ginger Rogers and Fred Flintstone
c) with four zombies to the tune of “Staying Alive” LJ
d) right out an open window, landing on
Don Gordo
Match the performers (A to E) with the
tunes (a to e) linked to them [5 points]
A) The Weavers a) You Ain’t Nothin’
B) The Gothic But a Hound Dog
Zydeco Band b) Blame It On the
C) Leo Liebnitz Bossa Nova
D) Edible Granite c) Oratorio for the
E) Felix Africa and Imminently Deaf
Inspector Wa Diddy d) Ancestral Warthog
(in rhinestones) Blues
e) Strange Days
14. One of Liebnitz’s earlier agents, who
usually reported in puzzles, was
a) asthmatic Prince Vlad the Inhaler
b) Throckmorton Fender Edsel III, Esmeralda’s
short-term fiancé
c) “Jimmy the Turk” Flecker, poet and diplomat
d) clearly someone who should have been stopped
much sooner
15. Link up the lines from Shamus Dikk
(one part from each list) [5 points]
A) She offered me a) There’s a boat leaving
a gangsta CD for Arnprior at
B) You’re sending sunset. Be on it
me up the river? b) Unimpressed,
C) Right away, I knew I gave it back
this dame spelled c) Sorry, sister, I take
trouble. Her way the rap for no one:
D) He gave the name d) But it wasn’t her
Floyd C Manifesto brother
E) I’m old friends witha e) TRUBBEL
certain Jack Daniels
16. In one puzzle, a group of A Aalto’s characters
a) eat lunch, argue about splitting the bill and
worry about his writer’s block
b) go on strike against incomprehensible puzzles
and reprehensible puns
c) run away to join the Ragtag Brothers Bunkum
and Oily circus
d) run away to look for Luigi Pirandello
17. Which of the following was not one
of Effie’s parting lines?
a) I left Willie Nuff a loon
b) A will’s a dead giveaway
c) Philately will get you Noh wear
d) You put me between rock and a hairpiece
18. Link the five couples (one person
from each list) [5 points]
A) Dryan Tweedie, a) Hilda
Rajah of SuWaNi b) Effie
B) Bugbyte O’ Nanotek c) Attila McGee
C) Esmeralda Beluga d) Felix Africa
D) Hamish MacBannock e) Mabel Stanley of
E) Inspector Wa Edible Granite
19. In “On the Sidewalks of New York” MacBannock
a) expects the Spanish Inquisition but gets the
Norwegian Blue
b) opines that pistachio eel ripple is never going
to be a popular ice cream
c) meets the inexplicably pleasing Canadian tenor
Placebo Domingo
d) meets Papa Jack Paridy under the Monument
to the Unknown Tourist
20. Associate the lines (A to E) with the character
who spoke them (a to e) [5 points]
A) Better a bad appraisal a) Special Agent
than a good funeral John W. Pilgrim
B) Don Gordo couldn’t b) Effie and Bugbyte
do a grand jeté if he O’ Nanotek
was fired from the c) Felix Africa
Quaker Oats cannon d) Shamus Dikk
C) The world was not yet e) Bertha de Kuhl
ready for sheet metal
nightwear with fins
D)I have to check out
the Viking exhibit.
National security.
Erik the Red. Need
I say more?
E) Saddle up the stove,
Ma. I’m riding the
range tonight
:1.In “Qui a Tué Jacques Noir?” the
object everyone seeks is found
a) in an enigmatic painting (aren’t they all?)
by René Magritte
b) in a statue of Alexandre Graham Cloche,
inventor of the francophone
c) to have been fed to a goat (or perhaps eaten
by Don Gordo)
d) in Hamish’s in-basket, along with a yeti,
the Higgs boson and Jimmy Hoffa
2. Which was not said in a puzzle to
describe the Gothic Zydeco Band?
a) hell with accordions
b) makes Wagner sound like
Puff the Magic Dragon
c) led to Kiss-coloured orchids, body-pierced
orangutans and cross-dressing cockatoos
d) all parties involved should be ashamed —
if not arrested
3. Link the description (A to D) with the
character described (a to d) [4 points]
A) A man so dry he a) Ludwig Liebnitz
could moonlight as b) Rialto Sleazewagon [ ]
talcum powder c) Manitoba Jones
B) Santa in a rumpled d) D Essex Mackinaw [ ]
suit, light on
the ho-ho-ho
C) A name you could
not forget, although
everyone tried
D)I see that young
Skywalker has gone
over to the dork
side of the farce
24. In “Cubismo” Havana police are provided with a
sketch of a fleeing criminal by a local Cubist. On
that basis, which of the following do they not arrest?
a) the last nun in town O
b) the mayor’s Edsel [J
c) the Michelin man [I
d) the Eiffel Tower L]
e) Key Largo CL]
f) Alvar Aalto, perpetrator-in-chief C]
View the original scanned pages →
Originally published in bout de papier, Vol. 24, No. 1 (2008) — Fall/Winter 2008 // Automne/Hiver 2008, pp. 38–41. Read the rest of this issue →
